4th Entry

- THE JOURNAL OF MARIA GRIFFIN -

What happens when Harry Potter's wand gets broken? Yes, that's a good question and I'll probably find the answer tomorrow.
I've been really busy lately: part-time job (babysitting -how odd, right?), dating Jonathan, keeping an eye on Logan and reading the new and last Harry Potter book.
You might be wondering how my plan is going. Well, I'm actually starting to see it as a really good plan since everything is going as I planned: Logan really thinks I like him -like him like him, I mean -and Jonathan is still unaware not only of what I've done but also of what I've been doing. Betraying him, that is. I know it seems strange to come here and finally admit I'm betraying my one love when I've clearly stated, in my last posts, that all I was doing was trying to protect him. The thing is, although I don't love Logan (I don't even like him, for God's sake), making out with him has changed a lot, especially due to the fact that he's a way better kisser than Jonathan. The thing is, this whole making-out-with-Logan thing made me realize maybe Jonathan isn't The One and there can be a better guy for me, I just haven't found him. You might be a bit confused right now, wondering how making out with a guy I don't even like can lead to such a conclusion. Well, that's easy. If Logan's kisses felt way better to me than Jonathan's and I don't even like him, what would I feel if I actually liked him? What if there's a guy somewhere that I might fall for that will take me to Heaven just by one kiss? I mean, it's not that I don't enjoy when Jonathan kisses me, it's not that. I just don't feel any magic going on. Actually, I don't even know why I still love him; I don't even know if it's love anymore. Maybe it's just an obsession and I can't let him go, I can't imagine him away from me... But at the same time I feel emptiness, a whole inside me, and my heart is looking for someone else.
So, my plan is going just perfect, as I said, but it turned out to be more than a simple plan to hide a stupid kiss from my boyfriend...It turned out to be an exit.

What is this exit-thing supposed to mean? Well, I'm still figuring it out myself. However, now I must go... Jonathan is waiting for me in the living room.

Love,

the one Maria Griffin --

3rd Entry

- THE JOURNAL OF MARIA GRIFFIN -

'Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got/ I'm still, I'm still Jenny from the block/ Used to have a little, now I have a lot/ No matter where I go, I know where I came from.'
Yes Jenny, you do have A LOT. Not only money but also a guy... Something I will lose if my plan fails. And yes, I do have a plan, a new one - one that does NOT include killing Logan.
Have you ever heard the saying 'if you can't win them, join them'? Well, I've figured that's all I have to do -I have to join Logan, please him, so he won't tell Jonathan about the kiss. Of course he can't find out I'm only trying to please him for my boyfriend. How am I going to do this? Well, I'll have to convince Logan that I broke up with Jonathan AND that he is so depressed he won't show up at the usual spots (so Logan won't try to find him). This is not a perfect plan though... I will have to pretend I'm actually interested in Logan. Crazy, right? And, well, I'll probably have to kiss him again but things can't be worse than they are now, can they? Besides, I'm just trying to protect Jonathan, the one guy I love. What's wrong with that? (Okay, don't answer that.)
And don't you think of calling me hypocrite, cheater or bitch -Oh no, you don't. There are LOADS of girls doing it -dating two guys at the same time, I mean - and I bet they don't have a good excuse like mine. As I said, I'm just trying to protect the guy I love, while those girls just do it for fun! That's the big, ENORMOUS difference.
Anyway, wait just a sec so I can call Logan.

= 2 minutes later =
Ok, done. Everything is going as I've planed. The talk went like this:
Beep...
Beep...
-"Hello?"
-"Hi Logan!"
-"Maria, what a pleasant surprise..."
-"You think so? Anyway, I have to talk to you about-"
-"Not about Jonathan again... Listen, I've already told you I-"
-"We broke up."
-"I don't care if you... Wait, what did you say?"
-"We broke up. I mean, I broke up with him."
-"Really?"- Logan asked with an interested voice.
-"Yeah. Anyway, I was hoping we could talk about it personally."
-"Why's that? Wanna kill me for having to break up with him?"
-"Don't be silly."- I answered with a sweet voice, trying hard neither to laugh nor giggle. -"I broke up with him because I wanted to. It just wasn't the same after... Our kiss."
Logan remained silent for a second, before asking:
-"Our kiss?"
-"Well, you're quite a good kisser, you know?" -Now you can't call me a liar either. -"But, as I said, I'd like to tell you all about Jonathan's sock when he heard what had happened... Doncha wanna hear?"
-"Sure. I'll be waiting at The Orange Spot."
-"Okay, toddles!"
And I hung up. Just in case you're wondering, The Orange Spot is a bar. I don't really feel like talking about what I've just done and what I'm about to do and I still have to get ready to go out... With Logan.

All in all... I'm out of here!
Love,

the one Maria Griffin --

2nd Entry

- THE JOURNAL OF MARIA GRIFFIN -

Damn it, Damn it, DAMN IT.
What have I done to deserve this -apart from letting some guy that isn't my boyfriend kiss me?
I now know it was the biggest mistake I've ever made. Letting Logan kiss me, I mean. You ask me why? Well, as I think I've already mentioned, Jonathan and Logan aren't exactly BFFs (best-friends-forever) and that, I thought, would be an advantage for me but, guess what?
It seems like Logan doesn't want to keep our little secret between us -oh no, he wants to let Jonathan know that even his girlfriend prefers Mr. Logan Smith to him. How mean is that?
I can't believe I let him kiss me. WORSE -I can't believe I kissed him back!
This is the worst nightmare ever (apart from one I had when I was a kid about my whole family being turned into ugly dinosaur-aliens). No, wait, since I can't seem to wake up from this trouble I got into this really is my worst nightmare of all times.
Anyway, I've been thinking how I can fix what I've done. There are three options:
a) I tell Jonathan the truth;
b) I don't let Jonathan meet Logan;
c) I make Logan an offer he can't refuse.
From all these there's one I've decided right away not to choose, and that is... "a) I tell Jonathan the truth". I mean, if I told him the truth, things would never be the same between us, he would never truly trust me again. That is, if he didn't break up with me right then. And, let me tell you, I love Jonathan and I don't want him to leave me. So, if I love him, why did I let him kiss me, you may ask? Well, I may answer: Jeez, I.DON'T.KNOW! I.DON'T.KNOW and I couldn't regret more.
Seriously, this is driving me nuts. I'll have to solve this soon, REALLY soon.
Wait, I know! I could go for option "c) Make Logan an offer he can't refuse"! But... What could it be that he wouldn't... O.M.G. I could totally kill Logan, right? That would solve all my problems! Apart from the homicide part but who cares? The only thing that could happen would be me, going to jail for the rest of my life and having to explain Jonathan why I'd killed Logan. And then he would still break up with me, this time for TWO reasons -for me having kissed Logan, and for me having killed Logan.
See what I mean? Logan is the cause of all my problems. I hate him. I guess I'll go for option "b) I don't let Jonathan meet Logan". If that fails, well, I'll just have to work out something to fit option c). I mean, you didn't really think I was serious about the murder-thing, did you? Like, jeez, I have a life to live and wouldn't mess it up for a guy like him. NO WAY; I'm not that stupid. Besides, I don't truly want him to die -I'm not the kind of person who wishes other peoples' deaths, even if they're the only reason your world is a living hell. And, of course, I have this thing about seeing blood – uugggh.

Well, my eyes are starting to hurt - why didn't I chose to have a paper-made journal? - so I'm leaving.

Love,

the one Maria Griffin --

1st Entry

- THE JOURNAL OF MARIA GRIFFIN -

O.M.G.
I can't believe he kissed me! I mean, I have a boyfriend for God's sake. Doesn't he care about that? Ok, I confess I kissed him back, but that wasn't my fault... It's just that he didn't let go of me! I swear I tried to get away; I tried REALLY hard, actually. But he wouldn't let me go and I'm human, okay? He is HOT... and a good kisser.
So, now I have a problem to solve (a hard one), and that is to make sure Jonathan will never find out about the kiss (oh, by the way, Jonathan is my boyfriend). Not that a kiss is such a big deal but for Jonathan...Well, that would be high betrayal and, let me tell you, I'm not a cheater; I'm not even a bitch! Nothing like this had ever happened to me. On another view: I had never done anything like this. Not that it was my fault, I remember you again, since Logan was the one who kissed me.
Wait, why am I justifying my actions -no, LOGAN's actions - to a journal? That's right, I don't have to give you any explanations since you're just a piece of paper (or, in this case, an amount of bytes) and no-one is actually going to read this.
So... I'll just carry on writing, which is something I love to do. Sometimes I think I could be a writer -I've even written some nice stories! I just don't have the guts to send my work to an agent or so. Probably because I'm too afraid: of having someone reading what I write (I mean, you can always find someone's deepest secrets by reading his or her innocent stories!), of losing my work for some story-thief,... I don't know. It just involves a lot of stuff.
Anyway, now here I am, writing in some blog about my life, knowing that no-one will read this -I know no-one will since I've already had other blogs and no-one did. So, why would anyone read the one I want to keep as a secret?
That's why I don't mind exposing myself in such a way. On the Internet, I mean.
Now, returning to the kiss thing... Since Logan and Jonathan aren't all that friends I don't think it'll be that hard to keep what happened between the two of us; I'll just have to have a word with Logan.

Now I must go... It's meal-time and ...I'm human! I have to eat if I want to live to solve my problems!

Wish me luck.
Love,

the one Maria Griffin --

Prologue

Hey there

Odd way of starting, huh?

Well, I don't think there are cool, original ways of saying 'hello' so I don't think it's my fault I've started in such a way.

Moving on... This blog is for what I like the most: writing.

- THE JOURNAL OF MARIA GRIFFIN -