4th Entry

- THE JOURNAL OF MARIA GRIFFIN -

What happens when Harry Potter's wand gets broken? Yes, that's a good question and I'll probably find the answer tomorrow.
I've been really busy lately: part-time job (babysitting -how odd, right?), dating Jonathan, keeping an eye on Logan and reading the new and last Harry Potter book.
You might be wondering how my plan is going. Well, I'm actually starting to see it as a really good plan since everything is going as I planned: Logan really thinks I like him -like him like him, I mean -and Jonathan is still unaware not only of what I've done but also of what I've been doing. Betraying him, that is. I know it seems strange to come here and finally admit I'm betraying my one love when I've clearly stated, in my last posts, that all I was doing was trying to protect him. The thing is, although I don't love Logan (I don't even like him, for God's sake), making out with him has changed a lot, especially due to the fact that he's a way better kisser than Jonathan. The thing is, this whole making-out-with-Logan thing made me realize maybe Jonathan isn't The One and there can be a better guy for me, I just haven't found him. You might be a bit confused right now, wondering how making out with a guy I don't even like can lead to such a conclusion. Well, that's easy. If Logan's kisses felt way better to me than Jonathan's and I don't even like him, what would I feel if I actually liked him? What if there's a guy somewhere that I might fall for that will take me to Heaven just by one kiss? I mean, it's not that I don't enjoy when Jonathan kisses me, it's not that. I just don't feel any magic going on. Actually, I don't even know why I still love him; I don't even know if it's love anymore. Maybe it's just an obsession and I can't let him go, I can't imagine him away from me... But at the same time I feel emptiness, a whole inside me, and my heart is looking for someone else.
So, my plan is going just perfect, as I said, but it turned out to be more than a simple plan to hide a stupid kiss from my boyfriend...It turned out to be an exit.

What is this exit-thing supposed to mean? Well, I'm still figuring it out myself. However, now I must go... Jonathan is waiting for me in the living room.

Love,

the one Maria Griffin --