2nd Entry

- THE JOURNAL OF MARIA GRIFFIN -

Damn it, Damn it, DAMN IT.
What have I done to deserve this -apart from letting some guy that isn't my boyfriend kiss me?
I now know it was the biggest mistake I've ever made. Letting Logan kiss me, I mean. You ask me why? Well, as I think I've already mentioned, Jonathan and Logan aren't exactly BFFs (best-friends-forever) and that, I thought, would be an advantage for me but, guess what?
It seems like Logan doesn't want to keep our little secret between us -oh no, he wants to let Jonathan know that even his girlfriend prefers Mr. Logan Smith to him. How mean is that?
I can't believe I let him kiss me. WORSE -I can't believe I kissed him back!
This is the worst nightmare ever (apart from one I had when I was a kid about my whole family being turned into ugly dinosaur-aliens). No, wait, since I can't seem to wake up from this trouble I got into this really is my worst nightmare of all times.
Anyway, I've been thinking how I can fix what I've done. There are three options:
a) I tell Jonathan the truth;
b) I don't let Jonathan meet Logan;
c) I make Logan an offer he can't refuse.
From all these there's one I've decided right away not to choose, and that is... "a) I tell Jonathan the truth". I mean, if I told him the truth, things would never be the same between us, he would never truly trust me again. That is, if he didn't break up with me right then. And, let me tell you, I love Jonathan and I don't want him to leave me. So, if I love him, why did I let him kiss me, you may ask? Well, I may answer: Jeez, I.DON'T.KNOW! I.DON'T.KNOW and I couldn't regret more.
Seriously, this is driving me nuts. I'll have to solve this soon, REALLY soon.
Wait, I know! I could go for option "c) Make Logan an offer he can't refuse"! But... What could it be that he wouldn't... O.M.G. I could totally kill Logan, right? That would solve all my problems! Apart from the homicide part but who cares? The only thing that could happen would be me, going to jail for the rest of my life and having to explain Jonathan why I'd killed Logan. And then he would still break up with me, this time for TWO reasons -for me having kissed Logan, and for me having killed Logan.
See what I mean? Logan is the cause of all my problems. I hate him. I guess I'll go for option "b) I don't let Jonathan meet Logan". If that fails, well, I'll just have to work out something to fit option c). I mean, you didn't really think I was serious about the murder-thing, did you? Like, jeez, I have a life to live and wouldn't mess it up for a guy like him. NO WAY; I'm not that stupid. Besides, I don't truly want him to die -I'm not the kind of person who wishes other peoples' deaths, even if they're the only reason your world is a living hell. And, of course, I have this thing about seeing blood – uugggh.

Well, my eyes are starting to hurt - why didn't I chose to have a paper-made journal? - so I'm leaving.

Love,

the one Maria Griffin --